AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE N’ABAGABO

AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE

Abagore bakunze guca abagabo inyuma. Ibi ni bimwe mu bikunze kubabaho iyo bagerageza guca abagabo inyuma

-abagore bakunze kubika sms z’urukundo ngo bazongere bazisome
-bitondera buri kantu ni yo mpamvu badakunze gufatwa
-bamenya kwicunga no kutagaragaza ko hari icyo bahuriyeho n’uwo bakundana
-bumva ko niba batahuje igitsina nta guhemuka kurimo
-bakunda vuba ariko birabagora kubangikanya abagabo
-iyo hari uwo bakunze bakora uko bashoboye bakamugusha kandi ntibapfa kurekura
-umugore yihitiramo uwo bazakundana hanze y’urugo atabifashijwemo n’inshuti
-abagore iyo barimo guhuza igitsina n’uwo bashaknye bamenya guhisha cyane ko baba barimo gutekereza ku wundi mugabo
-abagore bakunze gusambana n’abagabo b’inshuti z’urugo
-birabagora kwemera ko baciye umugabo inyuma
-biraborohera kubabarira iyo baciwe inyuma

tags-gusambana,kubaka urugo,urugo ruhire,igitsina,igituba

AMABANGA Y’BAGABO

Abagabo bakunze guca abagore inyuma. Ibi ni bimwe mu bikunze kubabaho iyo bagerageza guca abagore inyuma

-abagabo bazi gutandukanya urukundo n’igitsina
-iyo havutse ibibazo bahitamo kubirangiza vuba aho kubitindaho
-bafite uburyo bwinshi bwo guca abagore inyuma-club z’abagore bambaye ubusa,porono,etc
-bakorera mu matsinda, umugabo ashobora kurangira undi
-ntibatinda ku masentiments
-baganira n’abandi bagabo ibidakomeye
-ntibazi kureshya
-ntibakunda abagore babategeka
-ntibazi kubeshya
-bashaka abakunzi kure y’urugo
-bemera vuba iyo bavumbuwe
-ntibamenya kubabarira

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE:KUKI ABAGORE BACA ABAGABO INYUMA

AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE:KUKI ABAGORE BACA ABAGABO INYUMA

Umushakashatsi w’umunyamerika David Buss avuga ko muri kamere yabo, abagore baremanywe ubushobozi bwo guca inyuma abagabo. Abagabo ngo impamvu baca inyuma abagore ni ukugira ngo babyare abandi bana ahandi, mu gihe abagore baca abagabo inyuma kubera impamvu zitandukanye:abagore baca abagabo inyuma kubera ikibazo cy’umutekano: umugore aba ashaka amugabo umukunda akanabimwereka,umugabo umuha agaciro, umwifuza ku mubiri, kandi akamwumva. Abagore benshi baca inyuma abagabo kubera ko hari byinshi baba babuze mu rugo. Ubushakashatsi kandi bwerekana ko hagati ya 30-60% by’abagabo na 20-50% by’abagore mu buzima bw’abo baca inyuma y’abo bashakanye.

Umuco n’imiterere y’abagabo bibemerera guca abagore inyuma. Amazu abakobwa babyiniramo bambaye ubusa ni ayabo, utubare twa nijoro ni utwabo. Iyo barambiwe n’ubuzima bwo mu rugo bigira hanze kwishimisha mu gihe abagore baguma mu rugo ntibagire aho bahungira akamenyero mu mibanire yo mu rugo.

tags-gusambana,kubaka urugo,urugo ruhire,igitsina

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

KUKO MFITE IGITUBA

KUKO MFITE IGITUBA

par bangambiki

Kuko mfite igituba
bantera inshinge zo kutabyara
zikandwaza umutima

kuko mfite igituba
ndatuza
bakagira ngo ndatinya
natinyuka
bati “uri inshinzi”

kuko mfite igituba
ndahita bagakebuka
nahindukira bati “ushira isoni”

kuko mfite igituba
mu ijuru
bazambemba abicanyi bose

kuko mfite igituba
baramparika
bakangerekaho undusha icyiza

kuko mfite igituba
nkaba nirabura
inganda z’imiti itukuza
ni njye zaremewe

kuko mfite igituba
naremewe gushimisha
inganda z’amavuta y’isi
ninjye zireba

kuko mfite igituba
ndiyamamaza
ntibantore
ngo “nta gutegekwa n’umugore”

kuko mfite igituba
iyo ntanze inama mu rugo
umugabo arambinga
ngo “uruvuze umugore ruvuga umuhoro”

kuko mfite igituba
ungiriye neza wese
inyiturano ayibona mu maguru

kuko mfite igituba
mwarimu ntanyigisha
ngo azampa amanota ari uko
mbumbuye amaguru

kuko mfite igituba
umukoresha ntazantumbagiza mu ntera
ntamuterekeye amaso

kuko mfite igituba
sinshobora kugenda bwije
umugabo wese duhuye mu kabwibwi
yumva yanyihengekana

kuko mfite igituba
iyo ntunguwe n’iminsi
nandarika ikimero
nkorosora ikibero
ngo mbone ko bwacya kabiri

kuko mfite igituba
mpigishwa uruhindu
nkagurishwa imihanga
nkakoreshwa uburetwa bw’igititsina

kuko mfite igituba
ncuruzwa mu mahoteli
nkaruhura abakerarugendo

kuko mfite igituba gishaje
umugabo yarantaye
yisangira inkumi

kuko mfite igituba
mba umwamikazi mu gitanda
mu gitondo nkaba umutindi

kuko mfite igituba
ninjye murozi
“haroga abagore n’abakecuru”

kuko mfite igituba
nshinzwe kumara ipfa
iryanjye nkaripfana
“ntamugore usaba guhazwa n’umugabo”

kuko mfite igituba
iyo tunaniwe no kubyara
ninjye witwa ingumba

kuko mfite igituba
banyita igitego
bakantura igisigo
namara gusaza
bakanyita igisebo

kuko mfite igituba
bankinisha pronography
bakanshyira ku matangazo
ngo mbagurishirize
ku bareba umubiri wanjye mwiza

kuko mfite igituba
mu ntambara barampiga
ngo mbazimirize umuriro

kuko mfite igituba
abakandinze bo mu muryango
bamfata ku gatuza
singire icyo mvuga
kuko aribo bantunze

kuko mfite igituba
bampitiramo umugabo
batitaye ku rukundo
bishakira inka umunani

kuko mfite igituba
banshyingira nkiri muto
bakansangiza n’umusaza
ejo akambera umusazi

kuko mfite igituba
banca rugongo
ngo ntazumva uko biryoha
ejo nkaha n’abandi

kuko mfite igituba
bantegeka gukuna
naba ntagwije
bakanyohereza iwacu

kuko mfite igituba
ninjye ubyara
byazamo kidobya
nkataha kwa Nyamuzinda

kuko mfite igituba
nkaba n’isugi
ninjye bogerezamo inkota
yuzuye inkara ya Sida

kuko mfite igituba
banta mu rwa Bayanga
uwayinteye yigaramiye

kuko mfite igituba
ndatumaguzwa
nkatimbagurwa
nkatindahazwa
nkaturika nkarira

kuko mfite igituba
ngomba kwipfuka umubiri wose
ngo hatagira unyifuza

kuko mfite igituba
umuco ntunyumva
iyo mpohotewe n’umugabo
nta mugayo umubarwaho

kuko mfite igituba
baranterura
bakazirega nyuma!

kuko mfite igituba
iyo mvutse
ababyeyi barababara
kuko atari agahungu

kuko mfite igituba
ninjye soko y’ibibi byose
nazanye icyaha cy’inkomoko

kuko mfite igituba
banyita nyirabishuko
ngo ndi ikigeragezo
ngo ndi inzira ijya i kuzimu

kuko mfite igituba
nakira ibyo umugabo
urubyaro,ibitunga urugo cyangwa sida!

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

KWIHANGANIRA GUHEMUKIRANA KW’ABASHAKANYE

KWIHANGANIRA GUHEMUKIRANA KW’ABASHAKANYE

Abagabo bafite ubushobozi bwo “kugabanya umutwe wabo mo ibice bibiri.”Umugabo ashobora kumenya gutandukanya urukundo n’igitsina. Umugabo aba azi icyo ashaka. Ni yo mpamvu iyo umugabo asambanye hanze y’urugo bitaba bivuze ko yifuza kurusenya.

Ku bagore ho n’ibindi bibazo, ntibamenya gutandukanya ibya roho n’iby’umubiri! Byose baravanga, umugore umwe yaravuze ati “sinumva ukuntu naryamana n’undi mugabo ndi muzima ntasinze, ntamukunda cyangwa nta gahunda ndende dufitanye yo kuzakomeza gukundana. Nabikora gusa nzi neza ko nta ejo habyo hazabaho, ni ukuvuga turamutse duhuye gitungura tutaziranye, tukabikora, nkahita mubura nkuko yaje sinzongere kumubona.”

Umugore iyo akunze umugabo, amwimariramo uruhu n’uruhande, niyo mpamvu bigora abagore kugira inkundo zirenze rumwe. Umushakashatsi mu mibanire y’abashakanye wo mu gihugu cya Portugal witwa Jose Gameiro avuga ko “Umugore watangiye guca umugabo inyuma aba ateye ubwoba, kuko amahirwe y’uko azakomeza kubana n’umugabo we aba ari make.”

Abagore birabagora gukunda abagabo barenze umwe icyarimwe ni nko gusatura umutwe mo ibice bibiri. Bishobokera abagabo ariko ku bagore biragoye. Muganga Claudia Morais agira ati “si ngombwa ko umugore afatwa yaciye umugabo inyuma kugira ngo habeho ibibazo. Abarwayi banjye benshi ntawabafashe ahubwo barizanye bamaze kurembywa no kunanirwa no kubaho ubuzima bubiri.”

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

MBESE WICUZA KUBA WARASHATSE

MBESE WICUZA KUBA WARASHATSE

Ibibazo by’abashakanye ni byinshi. Hari abavuga ngo “inshakira muruho ntibaza amoko”. Hari igihe umuntu apima nabi agashakana n’umuntu badafite byinshi bahuriyeho. Ikibatsi cy’urukundo kigatuma bihutira kurushinga, nyuma y’iminsi mike gusa, ibibatandukanya bikaba byinshi kuruta ibibahuza. Bagatangira gushakira amahoro n’umutuzo hanze y’urugo. Umva uko uno mugore yicuza kuba yarashatse umugabo “Ndumva nifuza bya bihe ntari ‘nyina wa’ cyangwa ‘muka naka’ muri iyo minsi naritwaraga nkigarura. Ubu ngubu hari igihe nsohokana n’inshuti zanjye ariko umugabo ntabyemere. Umunsi umwe narasohotse ntinda gutaha, ngeze mu rugo nsanga yafunze umuryango n’ingufuri. Nahise niga isomo, nsohoka gusa iyo ari mu rugendo, kandi sinshobora kubimubwira.”

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

MBESE GUSAMBANA BISENYA URUGO

MBESE GUSAMBANA BISENYA URUGO

Umwanditsi Suzana Squire, mu gitabo cye I Don’t agira ati”Ikibazo hagati y’abagabo n’abagore si ugushakana ubwabyo, ahubwo ni ukuntu babona urugo- abantu bishyiramo ko kurushinga bibaha garanti y’amahoro n’umutuzo bihoraho. Aho igitsina n’urukundo biboneka ku bwinshi, ariko abantu baribeshya, kurushinga bizana akamenyero, kandi akamenyero kica urukundo, ka kana ko mu jisho kagashira, umugore akabona umugabo nka musaza we, umugabo akabona umugore nka mushiki we.” Abantu nyamara baba bakeneye urukundo rw’ikibatsi, rushyushye,rutuma umutima utera, kuko rero akenshi rutaboneka mu rugo, abashakanye bajya kurushaka aho ruri-hanze. Abenshi ntibabwira abo bashakanye ko bafite inkundo hanze, ariko abenshi barafatwa. Message zo muri telefone nizo zikunze gufatisha abagore. Bakunze kuzibika ngo n’ejo bazazisome.

Ahubwo se gusambana bisenya urugo? Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko guca inyuma uwo mwashakanye akenshi bidatuma habaho gutandukana. 30% gusa batandukana bitewe no gucana inyuma nk’uko bitangazwa na Miriam Goldenberg, anthropologue wo muri Universite Federal ya Rio de Janeiro muri Bresil.

Ku bagabo biragoye kubabarira umugore wamuciye inyuma agasambana, bimwumvisha ko yataye agaciro nk’umugabo. Akenshi ku bagabo nk’aba no gushyukwa birabananira iyo bamenye ko umugore yabanyuze inyuma.

Akenshi ku bagore biroroshye kubabarira. Ariko mu minsi ya mbere umugore akivumbura ko umugabo yamusambaniyeho aba ari umuriro waka, umugore aba ashaka kumenya detail zose, ariko nyuma aratuza ndetse no mu rwego rw’igitsina ibintu bikaba byaba byiza, umugore arimo kugerageza kurusha “mukeba we”! Umugore agerageza gukora ibyo atigeze akorera umugabo ngo akuremo umugore waba umutwarira umugabo.

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki

AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE-IBYO UMUGORE WAWE AGUHISHA III

AMABANGA Y’ABAGORE-IBYO UMUGORE WAWE AGUHISHA III

IBYO MARTHA ATABWIRA UMUGABO WE

Martha w’imyaka 34 akora muri sosiyete ya Publicite, hashize imyaka 8 ashakanye na Michel w’imyaka 35. Martha avuga ko akeneye umwanya w’utubanga twe.

“Sinjya mbwira Michel iby’inshuti zanjye z’abagabo. Nta nubwo azi amafaranga mpembwa. Hari ibintu bibiri n’ababyeyi banjye batazi usibye na Michel:ikarita yanjye ya banque, na compte yanjye. Nta nubwo nigeze mbwira Michel ko nakinnye akazungu. Nta mafaranga natakaje nta n’ayo nungutse ariko ntabyo namubwiye. Iyo nza kubimubwira byari kuzana amatiku gusa. ” Martha na Michel bafitanye umuwana umwe, kandi bafite inzu yabo. Babayeho neza mu buryo bugaragara bwo hanze.

“Imibanire yacu y’igitsina imeze neza ariko gusa nuko rimwe na rimwe nuko iyo turimo guhuza igitsina mba nitekerereza ku bandi bagabo dukorana ku kazi!”
Mu myaka umunani Martha amaranye n’umugabo ni nako afite umukunzi ku ruhande, Alphonse na we wubatse, bamaranye imyaka 6 bakundana! Alphonse yageze aho atandukana n’umugore we, nyuma arongera arashaka ariko Martha avuga ko nta shyari yagize.”Nanjye mfite umugabo. Ariko ndumva amaherezo yanje ari Alphonse”

Nyuma yaho Martha yaje gukundana na Richard bahuriye kuri internet, nyuma Richard amubwiye aho atuye asanga ari hafi bahura bigashoboka “ariko natekereje ko ndamutse ngiye tutaba tugiye kuvuga gusa, ahubwo ko twaryamana, natekereje ko nshobora kuba ntari umugore wa mbere yaba ahuye na we, ntekereza kuri Michel n’umwana wacu numva ko mbikoze naba ndushenye. Nyamara ariko buri gihe iyo ndimo guhuza igitsina na Michel mba nirebera Richard mu maso!”

MARTHA VS MICHEL

Ibyo umugabo abona

-umugore mwiza umukunda
-nyina w’abana

Ibyo umugabo adashobora gutekereza ko byabaho

-ko amukundiraho undi mugabo hashize imyaka 6
-ko yahuye n’umugabo mu biganiro bya internet
-ko atamuhisha umushahara we

Urakoze gusoma iyi nkuru kuri Igituba.org, shyiraho igitekerezo cyawe, twungure inama, tubwire uko ubona iby’igitsina na experiences zawe, tubaze cyangwa utwoherereze inkuru n’amafoto ku igitsina kuri bangambiki@igituba.org cyangwa bangambiki@bangambiki.com. Ohereza umwirondoro tugushakire inshuti ku IgihozoH.Bangambiki